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‘자아’라는 개 길들이는 법 배우기

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기독실업인회 CBMC/만나

2021. 7. 19.

쉽게 타성에 젖어 일반적인 반응으로 살아가는 비즈니스 세계에

유한한 이땅에서의 삶에 비즈니스맨으로 잘 살아가기 위한 인사이트가 있는 글이네요..

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‘자아’라는 개 길들이는 법 배우기

 

 

LEARNING TO TAME THE DOG NAMED ‘EGO’

By Robert J. Tamasy

 

 

 

오페라 작곡가로 유명한 주세페 베르디가 이탈리아 밀라노의  스칼라 오페라극장에서 피아노 독주회를 열었던  밤의 이야기이다. 그가 피날레 연주를 마치자, 이를 흠모한 청중은 앙코르를 요청했다. 쏟아지는 박수갈채를 만끽한 베르디는 비록 예술적인 면에서 그다지 뛰어난 음악은 아니지만, 청중의 환심을  만한 요란하고도 화려한 곡을 앙코르 무대로 선보이기로 했다.

The story is told about a night when operatic composer Giuseppe Verdi performed a piano recital at La Scala in Milan, Italy. As he finished his final piece on the program, the adoring audience demanded an encore. Reveling in the applause, Verdi chose to perform a loud, frilly composition he knew would delight the audience even though, in an artistic sense, it was not good music.

 

베르디가 앙코르 연주를 끝마치자, 관중들은 일제히 일어서서 그에게 또 한 번의 우레와 같은 기립박수로 응답했다. 박수갈채 속에서 기뻐하던 그는 마침내 발코니석에 앉아 있는 자신의 멘토를 얼핏 쳐다보게 되었다. 그의 멘토는 베르디의 행위를 정확히 간파하고 있었고, 일어서지도, 박수를 치지도 않았다. 그의 얼굴은 깊은 실망감과 괴로운 표정으로 가득했고, 눈으로 베르디에게 이렇게 말하는 듯했다.

"베르디, 베르디, 네가 어떻게 이럴 수 있느냐?"

When Verdi had completed the additional piece, the crowd stood as one, giving him another resounding response. He delighted in the applause until he glimpsed his lifelong mentor seated in the balcony. The mentor knew exactly what Verdi had done; he neither stood with the crowd nor applauded. Verdi saw an agonized expression on his mentor’s face of deep disappointment, as if to say, “Verdi, Verdi, how could you do that?”

 

고인이   친구 로버트 D. 포스터는 군림하고 싶고 인정받고자 하는 욕구에 관한  이야기를 들려주며 이를 베르디 바이러스라고 불렀다. 독일의 철학자 프리드리히 니체는 이를 다음과 같이 표현했다.

"내가 올라가는 순간마다 자아라는 이름의 개는 항상 따라오게 되어있다. 자아는 칭찬으로 가득 차면 사정없이 부풀어 오르며, 힘과 성공을 갈망한다. 그리고 그것들을 아무리 많이 얻어도 결코 만족하지 못한다."

When he told this story, my late friend Robert D. Foster called this the “Verdi virus,” a need for control and to receive approval. The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche described it this way: “Whenever I climb, I am followed by a dog named Ego. The ego swells when it is showered with praise. It craves power and success. And it is never satisfied with how much of these things it gets.”

 

실업인과 전문인 세계에서는 우리가 단지 최근에 이룬 성공으로 평가되는 존재일 뿐이라는 지속적인 메시지를 가지고 이러한 욕구를 충족시킨다. 매우 흔한 일이지만, 타인의 칭찬에 대한 욕구는 독이   있다. 베르디 경우처럼 우리는 타협을 하지 않을  없다. , 우리가 알기로 상대가 바라는 반응을 얻어낼 일을 하지 않을  없는 것이다. 한결같이 인간의 모습을 있는 그대로 묘사하고 있는 성경에서 이에 관한 많은 예시를 찾아볼  있다.

The business and professional world feeds this desire, with its continual message that we are only as good as our latest successes. Even though it is so common, this need for the acclaim of others can be toxic. As with Verdi, it might cause us to compromise, to do things we know will generate the desired response, even if they are not the best things – or the right things – to do. The Bible, which describes the human condition with unvarnished honesty, gives many examples of this.

 

예수 그리스도는 이에 관하여 그렇지 않은 척하는 종교 지도자들과도 맞서서 자주 말씀하셨다.  가지 대표적인 예시가 마태복음 23 27-28절에서 언급된다.

" 있을진저 외식하는 서기관들과 바리새인들이여 회칠한 무덤 같으니 겉으로는 아름답게 보이나  안에는 죽은 사람의 뼈와 모든 더러운 것이 가득하도다. 이와 같이 너희도 겉으로는 사람에게 옳게 보이되 안으로는 외식과 불법이 가득하도다.”

Jesus Christ spoke about this, often confronting the religious leaders for pretending to be what they were not. One classic example is recounted in Matthew 23:27-28, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.”

 

중요한 것은 외적인 것이 아닌 내적인 것이다.

이스라엘을 위한 새로운 왕을 선출할 , 하나님께서는 외모 심사 아닌 심성 검사 통과한 사람을 찾으셨다. 훗날 하나님께서는 하나님의 마음에 합한 라고 불리는 다윗을 선택하셨다.

“… 내가 보는 것은 사람과 같지 아니하니 사람은 외모를 보거니와  여호와는 중심을 보느니라 하시더라” (사무엘상16:7)

It is what is inside, not outside, that matters. In selecting a new king for Israel, God was not seeking someone who passed the “look test,” but someone who passed the “heart test.” He chose David, a man later called “a man after God’s own heart.” “…The Lord does not look at things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

 

칭찬은 인격을 시험하는 역할을 한다.

칭찬을 받을  우리는 어떻게 반응하는가?  속에 심취해  많은 것들을 추구할 것인가, 아니면 겸손한 감사로 화답할 것인가?

도가니로 은을, 풀무로 금을, 칭찬으로 사람을 단련하느니라” (잠언27:21)

Praise serves as a test of character. How do we respond when we receive praise? Do we soak ourselves in it and seek for more, or do we respond in humble gratitude? “The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but man is tested by the praise he receives” (Proverbs 27:21).

 

타인을 우선시하는 것은 칭찬에 대한 욕구를 감소시킨다.

칭찬에 대한 끈질긴 욕망은 우리 자신에게 초점을 맞추게 한다. 그러나 우리가 다른 사람에게 초점을 맞출 , 우리의 자아는 관심을  필요로 하게 된다. "모든 관심은  것이야!"라고 말하는 세상에서 우리의 인식을 바꾸기 위해서는 의식적인 결단이 필요하다.

아무 일에든지 다툼이나 허영으로 하지 말고 오직 겸손한 마음으로 각각 자기보다 남을 낫게 여기고 각각 자기 일을 돌볼뿐더러 또한 각각 다른 사람들의 일을 돌보아 나의 기쁨을 충만하게 하라” (빌립보서2:3-4)

Putting others first reduces the need for praise. The relentless desire for praise puts our focus on ourselves. When we focus on others, however, our ego requires less attention. In a world that says, “It is all about me!”, it requires a conscious decision to redirect our thinking. “Do nothing from empty ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4)

 

 

토론 및 적용 주제

Reflection/Discussion Questions

 

1.     작곡가 주세페 베르디에 관한  이야기를 들어본 적이 있나요? 대부분의 사람들이 칭찬과 인정에 대한 욕구와 요구가 강한 이유는 무엇이라고 생각합니까?

Had you heard this story about composer Giuseppe Verdi before? Why do you think the desire – even the demand – for praise and approval is so strong in most of us?

 

 

2.     어떤 의미에서는 많은 관객들의 환호에도 불구하고, 그에게 진정으로 중요한 것은   사람의 인정이었다는 것을 베르디는 깨달았을 것입니다. 우리는 영적 차원에서  사실을 어떻게 우리의 행동과 동기로 연관시킬  있을까요? 우리의 인생과 일이 우리가 믿고 섬기는 하나님이라는  하나의 청중에게만 인정받는 것에 만족하나요?

In a sense, Verdi recognized that despite the applause of many, what truly mattered for him was the approval of the audience of one. How can we relate this to our actions and motives on a spiritual level – are we content to go about our lives and work receiving only the acceptance of an audience of One, the God we believe in and serve?

 

 

3.     속마음은 아주 다를지 몰라도 겉으로 좋아 보이는 기술을 완성한 듯한 사람들의 예시를 떠올려   있나요? 당신 스스로 그랬을 수도 있지만, 실제 내부에서 일어나는 일들을 감추기 위해 어떻게 겉모습을 위장했을까요? 의견을 나눠봅시다.

Can you think of examples of individuals who seem to have perfected the art of looking good on the outside, even though what is inside – their hearts – is very different? What about times when you might have done that yourself, presented a false outward appearance to conceal what was really going on inside? Explain your answers.

 

 

4.     어떻게 하면 자신의 유익보다 다른 사람을 우선시하는 태도를 가질  있을까요? 그것이 쉽게 가능할까요?  그런지 아니면  그렇지 않은지요?

How can we cultivate an attitude of putting other people first, ahead of our own interests? Does this come easily? Why or why not?                         

 

 

 참고: 성경에서  주제에 관련된 내용을  알고 싶다면, 아래 구절을 참고하세요.

NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to read more, consider the following passages:

잠언 11:2, 16:2,18, 17:3, 18:12, 22:4, 25:6-7, 27:2, 29:23; 요한복음 12:42-43

Proverbs 11:2, 16:2,18, 17:3, 18:12, 22:4, 25:6-7, 27:2, 29:23; John 12:42-43

 

  •  교만이 오면 욕도 오거니와 겸손한 자에게는 지혜가 있느니라(잠언 11:2)
  • 사람의 행위가 자기 보기에는 모두 깨끗하여도 여호와는 심령을 감찰하시느니라(잠언 16:2)
  • 도가니는 은을, 풀무는 금을 연단하거니와 여호와는 마음을 연단하시느니라(잠언 17:3)
  • 사람의 마음의 교만은 멸망의 선봉이요 겸손은 존귀의 길잡이니라(잠언 18:12)
  • 겸손과 여호와를 경외함의 보상은 재물과 영광과 생명이니라(잠언 22:4)
  • 왕 앞에서 스스로 높은 체하지 말며 대인들의 자리에 서지 말라 이는 사람이 네게 이리로 올라오라고 말하는 것이 네 눈에 보이는 귀인 앞에서 저리로 내려가라고 말하는 것보다 나음이니라(잠언 25:6-7)
  • 타인이 너를 칭찬하게 하고 네 입으로는 하지 말며 외인이 너를 칭찬하게 하고 네 입술로는 하지 말지니라(잠언 27:2)
  • 사람이 교만하면 낮아지게 되겠고 마음이 겸손하면 영예를 얻으리라(잠언 29:23)
  • 그러나 관리 중에도 그를 믿는 자가 많되 바리새인들 때문에 드러나게 말하지 못하니 이는 출교를 당할까 두려워함이라 그들은 사람의 영광을 하나님의 영광보다 더 사랑하였더라(요한복음 12:42-43)

 

 출처: CBMC INTERNATIONAL  /  번역: 한국기독실업인회www.cbmc.or.kr